Wasn't it Ghandi who said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"?
Well, two very small things happened to me today that are insignificant to you but HUGE in my book.
One: For the first time since I got married in 2003, the teacher called me by my married name when she was giving attendance. (It took me a while to change it...all that unnecessary paperwork, photo ID's, ect!) I had a stupid smile on my face for a long time. And of course, as Alex warned me, she didn't pronounce it correctly. She pronounced Yehpezz instead of Yepeeze.
Two: After class I was heading to work. I was hungry. I was about to head to Jamba Juice for a Bright-Eyed Blueberry with a protein boost but knew that it wouldn't sustain me for however long I was to stay working. I went to Panda Express and ordered and sat by myself to eat. I think the last time I ate by myself in public was in jr high school. It felt weird but you know what?...I survived!
Changing my name was fine, it just took to long but being by myself? All this because of fear. And fear of change. (Geeze! What's going to happen when I get in my elderly years?) I'm stubborn, yes, but I don't like change. I don't like risk. I don't like routine. And as a result, I haven't experienced much and missed out on a lot of opportunities.
And when it comes down to it...it's so hard to for me to break what is familiar. To break away from your comfort zone. I've struggled with that forever and I will continue to find it hard not to change. It seems like I will always continue to choose that road as much as I try not to.
And hopefully my huge experience today will change all that.