Saturday, April 22, 2006

Hope to Capture


I'm not one for gatherings much. It's because I get nervous and being there with a lot of people makes me feel uneasy. Even if I know everybody, it's hard to cope with being yourself when you have a wall that you just want to put up. Security..that's what I need. Being myself is easy and natural, but bringing it out is the challenge.

But today, I went to a baby shower. There were a lot of women there. It was uneasy for me especially because I was taking pictures. It was easy for me to open up more since I now have deeper relationships with these women. Still, I got nervous. And sometimes, without wanting to, I drew attention to myself because my camera makes noise or because I have to get "into the action", so to speak, in order to get the shot.

I have to admit, I could have been more aggressive in taking more shots.

Really, this blog is more about insecurity. And how I've spent so much time and energy in protecting myself. I have improved tremendously, because unfortunately in the past, I've hurt people because of it. (Please forgive me.)

Anyway, this was also about my friends celebrating the arrival of their baby. This was for her. And this was for him. And it is always so nice to gather people together to celebrate a new life.

I hope that I captured some of that.

4 comments:

steve w said...

Amanda,
Thanks for taking pictures...they help friends and family remember the significant moments in their/our lives.

One of my favorite blogs is internetmonk.com. His most recent post is Insecurity and the Christian Life (click here). It is EXCELLENT!

He ends with 7 suggestions...but don't think the 7 suggestions are the best part. Here are 3 of the suggestions:

1) Those who are experiencing insecurity should not be condemned and shamed as sinners and unbelievers.

2) The human experience of insecurity is part of the Gospel story, and it should be put into the context of the Gospel story.

4) Christians ought not to pretend that they have been delivered from all insecurities. Christian leaders should never lead from the manipulation of insecurity or the promise of deliverance from all fear in the present.

Sonia:) said...

Great Picture! I already put it up as my desktop wallpaper. I can hardly wait to see all of them. I am so grateful to you for taking them. When I heard that you were going to be the "official photographer" I felt very special.

trazomfreak said...

Steve,
Thanks. I now see this from another perspective. From the internetmonk's suggestions, it helped me shed some light on things I haven't thought about in a long time.

And in my recent past, it was almost forgotten. But verses like 2 Cor 4:7-14, helped me to see that it is never dispair.

And I can see how one would be manipulated because of their insecurity. So easily too! But if we go back to #2, it helps us to remember "context". Doesn't everyone want approval in some way?

The other suggestions....crazy to think how it all fits.

Oh, and that's a neat site! Thanks for sharing!

trazomfreak said...

Sonia,
Thank YOU, for allowing me the honor of capturing your special day.

This is exactly why I take pictures. So that you will remember the "significant moments" of your life.

P.S. As you know, I also too my film camera as well. I have placed them to get developed on a CD. (It's easier for me) As soon as I get them in, I will pass it along.

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