I'm not one for gatherings much. It's because I get nervous and being there with a lot of people makes me feel uneasy. Even if I know everybody, it's hard to cope with being yourself when you have a wall that you just want to put up. Security..that's what I need. Being myself is easy and natural, but bringing it out is the challenge.
But today, I went to a baby shower. There were a lot of women there. It was uneasy for me especially because I was taking pictures. It was easy for me to open up more since I now have deeper relationships with these women. Still, I got nervous. And sometimes, without wanting to, I drew attention to myself because my camera makes noise or because I have to get "into the action", so to speak, in order to get the shot.
I have to admit, I could have been more aggressive in taking more shots.
Really, this blog is more about insecurity. And how I've spent so much time and energy in protecting myself. I have improved tremendously, because unfortunately in the past, I've hurt people because of it. (Please forgive me.)
Anyway, this was also about my friends celebrating the arrival of their baby. This was for her. And this was for him. And it is always so nice to gather people together to celebrate a new life.
I hope that I captured some of that.